As a mom aka herder of cats, there are a few products that I really feel should exist. Perhaps, you dear reader, have the time, energy and expertise to make one of these and sell it to me?

My first and most important product would be the 5 meter by 5 meter bed. A really big bed in other words. My husband has the lame excuse of one wall being in the way and having to be broken down to fit this in. I say grab the hammer! This would just add so much value to my life, and to our life as a family. I have posted a drawing of my design on Facebook before and from the response I am sure that many people could use this, below is a refined version:

Let me explain the sunken area – this area is closer to the floor and so if a toddler or dog should fall off during the night, they can just crawl back on. It is also to prevent my husband from kicking my child in the face. And to prevent my child from kicking us – especially seeing as he insists on wearing his crocs to bed. Note that the mom has no ears; this is to preserve sanity….

In an ideal world the bed would also have an electric arm that can zone in on a dummy in the dark and re-insert it into the mouth of whoever might be crying. (I include my husband and I when I say ‘whoever’).

The second product I feel should really be out there for purchase is the changing mat with tiny little handcuffs, for obvious reasons. The gruelling task of changing a nappy on a baby that rolls around and wriggles with alarming strength is enough to make even the bravest person cry from frustration.

My third product would be the shoulder camera. This should be available because, for all the trials and tribulations we go through as parents, we get return on our investment in the form of cute things being said, kisses being blown and just in general the humorous interactions that toddlers have with their environment. Sadly these moments come and go in the blink of an eye.

The other day I told my son “sharp-sharp” showing him thumbs up as I did so, he replied with “sharp-sharp” but showing me the middle finger. So wrong, but so funny and really something I would love to show at his wedding or 21st birthday. I ran to get my camera and have been giving him thumbs up ever since in the hope of capturing this gem. Alas, with no success.

So this is how it will work, the camera will be attached to your shoulder and with a voice command or complicated eye twitch, you can activate it. How handy would this be?

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