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The illustrated life of a sleep deprived person

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I’ll be nice to your face but in my head I’m re-living scenes from the Hunger Games. Know this.

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Sleep deprived moms are always updated on FaceBook. How else do you stay awake to feed a baby hanging from your arm at odd hours…

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I call Sundays ‘Sensory Overload Sundays’ or SOS for short. Yes, I can see the irony in that. But can you? And do you feel sorry for me and all those other moms?

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I love my husband. But he does this weird breathing thing when he sleeps, like blowing out air. I USED TO find this adorable, now it makes me crazy jealous. I have no idea how to draw ‘eye daggers’ but I hope you get the idea.

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This is me trying to drag the bags under my eyes up the promenade, which is sneakily steep I’ll tell you. And those fucking energy bites that came to live on my arse. Really? What was I even thinking?? Peanut butter rolled with oats and chocolate chips. Supposed to give you energy when you breastfeed. Urgh.

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Sleep deprived people drink a lot of coffee. I read today that this is apparently good for your brain. I’m happy to run with this story even if new research proves it wrong tomorrow.

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Sleep deprived people have ridiculous, and ugly, emotional meltdowns. You never know when one will hit you, they are totally random. Like that time the car guard let someone park too close to me. Totally not his fault. And when another mom tells you how her baby slept through at 6 weeks…

If your baby slept through at 6 weeks don’t tell people. Just don’t.

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Sleep deprived people fantasize about a dodgy pharmacist who can give them a magic energy pill. They will contact contacts of your contacts to find this dodgy pharmacist. Might as well hope for a unicorn.

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Sleep deprived people will talk absolute shit to you on the phone and remember nothing of it later. Rather text them so there is evidence. Lack of sleep seriously kills the short term memory.

Sleep deprived people is a thing. Respect these people and let them nap if you love them.

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