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Having three kids is like….


I get asked this a lot, so let me tell you. It’s like a beautiful day where you decide to go to the beach and as you get there some asshole takes the parking spot you’ve been waiting ten minutes for. But you pull yourself towards yourself, you don’t say any ugly words, you focus on the glint off the sea and the fact that you live by the beach.

But then one of your spawn throws a tantrum about the lizard that just went behind a rock and they wanted to see it and make it come back! And you lose your shit, but just on the inside. You wonder how come they have such loud voices, who in the family could they have gotten that from and other random stuff, to keep yourself from shouting.

And then you buy ice cream and everyone is happy again, smiles everywhere, mom and dad are amazing. Heroes. Look at us. We are all out of the house together and we are all actually bathed and dressed (something that feels like a small miracle some days).

But then one child refuses to walk. Even when you leave her there, standing alone, screaming like a ‘maer vark’ (thin, hungry pig). And you break yourself carrying the bike, the kid and that toy that she insisted on bringing and that you, at the time, thought could do no harm if it comes along. It’s 700g too heavy, that’s what. But you make it to the car, hallelujah and for fuck sake what a workout and test of character. You pat yourself on the back, you remind yourself that you are actually so grateful. That everything is a lesson and so on and so on.

On the drive home boy child sits too close to girl child, they fight. The baby screams. Your brain feels like it’s on fire. But you’re the adult and so you turn the music up louder.

You stop at home and they are all asleep. Such sweet sweet angels. Look at them. Your heart could literally burst with love. Why on earth did you ever get so worked up?

Up and down, that’s what having three is like. Parenting in general really is up and down, you know this. Whether you have 1 or 13 (yes, I met someone the other day who said she is married to a man who is one of 13. His mom must be super awesome or on drugs). For me going from 2 to 3 just made the ups a bit more up and the downs a bit more down.

But there are more ups than downs. Way more.

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